The stories that come into my office often remind me of my own, sometimes in very powerful ways. In 2008, I moved to Orlando where I continue to help couples in crisis through my Currents Counseling Services. I returned to school, completed my masters degree, and began practicing in the Midwest. I went through several years of darkness before healing began.Īfter healing, friends encouraged me to build on my past counseling experienced (I had counseled families for many years) by becoming a licensed counselor. I wanted nothing more than to experience every pleasure of being with her. I felt irresistibly drawn to another woman. The short version is this: I was frustrated in my marriage. The details of my affair are really no different from thousands of other similar stories. It twisted into something nearly unrecognizable. My life took a turn never considered during that college walk. (Okay, maybe there were only two kids in my original imaginations, but she easily persuaded me to expand my vision.) I was respected and successful in my career with invitations to new opportunities.
I was married to a beautiful woman and we had five children together. What my life became was not too far off that measure. I stopped in front of Pickett Hall and thought, “I’m going to always remember this moment.” I wanted that day’s thoughts of hope to be a measure against whatever realities would eventually come in years ahead. What would I be doing in the decades to come? How successful would I be? What would my wife look like? How many children would we have? What would it feel like to live the life of my choosing? I tried to imagine it all. My considerations turned to future expectations, imagining what path my life would take.
I remember one particular afternoon in college when, for some reason, I became deeply contemplative during a walk from class to my dorm room. Reflections on what I’ve learned and what I wish I’d known twenty years ago.
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